A Thing of the Past.

Ever feel like you're forgetting something? You're walking home from town and you just know there was something you forgot, but you never remember, you just have to live with that gnawing blank spot in your brain. Or ever get that feeling like you're waiting for something to happen? But you don't know what. Am I expecting someone? Is someone going to call? But no one arrives, no one calls and it just hangs there. You can't shake it. So you pace the house. Check emails. Check your phone. Walk in out of rooms. Well that's what it feels like when you're gearing up to make a film.

I remember now. It been a while since I was in this position. Two years in fact, which is hard to believe! 140 was such a long process and I don't even count that as a shoot, considering the actual shoot was, well, 140 seconds! So I guess Slán agus Beannacht was the last time I directed a film with a cast and crew. That was April 2009! Almost two years ago. I find that hard to believe. But I guess I've done alot in between.

But yes, that feeling, that irritation at the back of my mind. Anxiety I guess. Nervous energy. Excitement. Anticipation. Fear. Doubt. It's all there. I've been lucky this week. I've been sick. Lucky? You might ask. Well, it meant I had to take Night Nurse, a cold and flu remedy that basically knocks you out at night. I don't think I'd be sleeping otherwise. Sleep takes a back seat leading up to these things. The two nights previous to being sick I awoke at 4am. Brain alight. And awoken I stayed. I got some work done. Plenty of emailing. Thoughts on the script. To do lists. Got a head start on things.

There's very little time and a hell of a lot to do. I guess I'm lucky we're fully cast. Lesson learned from previous films with a week to go before shooting and still parts to be cast. But as mention below, crew, money, location all to be got. These things will keep me up nights until the first day of shooting. I wont relax until "CUT" is called on the very last take on the very last day. But that's OK. I think the nervous energy is important. You need adrenaline to do something like this, it's fuel. And the fear and doubt, well that'll keep me in check and make sure I'm prepared.

Right, I better go take some Night Nurse and get some sleep before I get better and it becomes a thing of the past!