I got a PFO letter this week. I have a stack of them. A large pile that I used to keep pinned to the wall beside my desk, but that now inhabit the bottom of a box somewhere. I also have several gigs of PFO emails.
Ah, the rejection letter. It's a daily subjection as a filmmaker and writer to be faced with rejection. Daily rejection? Think about that. To be told "No" "Not Good Enough" "Go Away" "Not A Chance" "PLEASE F*&@ OFF" on a daily basis. I imagine it's a lot like what it feels like to be a chugger. (Though that doesn't make me hate them any less!)
But, alas, it is part of the process. It gets easier to take. But is no less annoying. I suppose it helps develop a thick skin and enforces the resolve to keep going. To prove them wrong? a little bit, yes. But it's always about the work. Making something good and enjoying it, because that's why you're in it in the first place - for the love of the work. Not for the approval of funding bodies.
In fact, I'd like to start sending them PFO letters back.
Dear Funding Body,
Well I don't need you stupid money anyway. I'm still going to make my film. :b'
Yours Sincerely
A Jilted Lover.
Does make me sound a bit like a jilted lover doesn't it?! Well, maybe not then. Best to just brush it off. Just figure on the fact that your work is not going to be for everyone and keep doing it anyway.
The project I'm referring to was of course Derelict (as well as every other project I've ever thought of, developed, wrote and made) but that's shooting in 4 weeks time. So you make it happen. No one else. Just you. People may step in to help if you're lucky, but still and always it's down to you to make it happen. Rejection is part of acceptance. Makes becoming all the sweeter.
Now, I have work to do, so if you don't mind - PFO.
;)
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
2001: A Filmmaker's Odyssey
2001 really was the year that changed my life forever. For lots of personal reasons, but also for film.
I graduated college in 2000 having studied Animation for 4 years at Ballyfermot College of Further Education. I started out top of my class, an extremely enthusiastic student, but I didn't stay that way. I probably graduated bottom of my class, if I'm entirely honest. For lots of reasons, and not to play the blame game, but it was the kind of college where you were pretty much left to your own devises, they weren't so big on the guidance thing, and left to my own devises I'm easily distracted.
One such distraction was screenwriting. I became obsessed with it. I've always been a film fan and I've wanted to make films for as long as I can remember. And I've always been a keen writer. But again, never really guided. Sounds odd, but I discovered screenwriting quite late. When I did, I knew this was my way in. College took a backseat from then on.
I went to LA straight after graduation. Spent several weeks looking for work in some of the top studios in the world with a half-assed portfolio and the worst reel you'd ever seen. Not surprisingly I didn't find work, so I came home early. My girlfriend at the time had already decided she was going to spend a year in Australia, backpacking. I could come, or not, but whatever I decided she was going. So I guess that meant I was going.
She went ahead by several months. I stayed behind working on a factory production line trying to safe enough money to join her. I was lucky though. I was sat alone in the far corner of a large factory on a near empty floor on a self-running test machine that I only had to load every 30 minutes. It gave me months to write. I actually loved it. I wrote three short scripts and two feature scripts. They were terrible. I knew even then. But I was writing. And more to the point I discovered that I enjoyed it more than Animation. I loved making up stories.
I finished working there in January of 2001 and by that time I had made the decision not to pursue Animation any further and instead follow my first love, no, not the girlfriend in Australia, but Film.
When I landed in Australia I was of course thrilled to see the girlfriend, and her me... for about 12 hours! The next day I dropped the bombshell "I'm not doing Animation anymore, I want to make films." The look on her face should have told me that was the end, but I've always been a little naive that way. It took several more months for the penny to drop.
During the following oblivious months I wrote, like never before. I poured over screenwriting books, I bought notebooks and took endless notes and I even bought myself an old type-writer from SVP (SVP would play a hand in my career again of course!) and I set to writing the screenplay I was going to direct when I got back to Ireland. It was a kidnap thriller called Blood . Dirt . Money even had the full-stops like that and everything!
A huge influence on the script, and me, was the film Memento by Christopher Nolan. It truly inspired me and informed me. It changed how I looked at films. I realised this was the kind of film I wanted to make. Something contained, taught, dark, something that kept the audience guessing and enthralled. That first draft of B.D.M probably lifted a lot from Memento, in fact, I know it did, as well as a lot of other films. Looking back it was something of a patchwork of borrowed scenes! But I managed to finish the screenplay before we left Sydney. Little didn't I know that when I typed 'The End' it meant more than just the end of the script.
I came back to Ireland early. The girlfriend stayed behind to spend some time with her sister, or so I thought. I had suspicions something else had been going on for a while. She would cry for no reason. Disappear to meet friends, who would then show up completely unaware of any such meeting, strange misplaced apologies. When she eventually did get back I popped around to see her and was sitting at the table flicking through a magazine when I came across her named, written across a L'Oreal advertisement, but with a different second name, and not mine!
I remember her telling me years ago that it was something all girls did, write their name with the second name of a potential husband to see if it looked good, sounded good (she always thought my second name sounded funny with hers!) I never forgot the name, and it was only years later when I heard the name of her now husband that it was all confirmed. We broke up that week.
But none of that matters now. She's married. I'm married. Everyone's grown up and happy. It's just relevant to the year that changed my life. 2001. My odyssey!
After that I decided I would focus on writing. I got in touch with Thomas Kennedy. Told him I wanted to make this script I had and if could advise me. He read it. Never mentioned it again. But asked if I wanted to write something else with him. From that first meeting came Emily's Song, our award winning short film. Ten years on the writing partnership continues, that although we've been interrupted by marriages and kids and careers and soon immigration, it is still going strong - I'm meeting him tomorrow in fact, we're still working on Iscariot!
So that was the year that changed my life. Had I not made that decision I would have the films I've made, the friends, the collaboration the measure of success I've had. Had the girlfriend not made her decision I would not be happily married to a wonderful, supportive, strong woman with whom I have the most beautiful daughter.
And ten years on I finally get to make my kidnap thriller. Except this time is called Derelict and hopefully the script is a bit better!
I graduated college in 2000 having studied Animation for 4 years at Ballyfermot College of Further Education. I started out top of my class, an extremely enthusiastic student, but I didn't stay that way. I probably graduated bottom of my class, if I'm entirely honest. For lots of reasons, and not to play the blame game, but it was the kind of college where you were pretty much left to your own devises, they weren't so big on the guidance thing, and left to my own devises I'm easily distracted.
One such distraction was screenwriting. I became obsessed with it. I've always been a film fan and I've wanted to make films for as long as I can remember. And I've always been a keen writer. But again, never really guided. Sounds odd, but I discovered screenwriting quite late. When I did, I knew this was my way in. College took a backseat from then on.
I went to LA straight after graduation. Spent several weeks looking for work in some of the top studios in the world with a half-assed portfolio and the worst reel you'd ever seen. Not surprisingly I didn't find work, so I came home early. My girlfriend at the time had already decided she was going to spend a year in Australia, backpacking. I could come, or not, but whatever I decided she was going. So I guess that meant I was going.
She went ahead by several months. I stayed behind working on a factory production line trying to safe enough money to join her. I was lucky though. I was sat alone in the far corner of a large factory on a near empty floor on a self-running test machine that I only had to load every 30 minutes. It gave me months to write. I actually loved it. I wrote three short scripts and two feature scripts. They were terrible. I knew even then. But I was writing. And more to the point I discovered that I enjoyed it more than Animation. I loved making up stories.
I finished working there in January of 2001 and by that time I had made the decision not to pursue Animation any further and instead follow my first love, no, not the girlfriend in Australia, but Film.
When I landed in Australia I was of course thrilled to see the girlfriend, and her me... for about 12 hours! The next day I dropped the bombshell "I'm not doing Animation anymore, I want to make films." The look on her face should have told me that was the end, but I've always been a little naive that way. It took several more months for the penny to drop.
During the following oblivious months I wrote, like never before. I poured over screenwriting books, I bought notebooks and took endless notes and I even bought myself an old type-writer from SVP (SVP would play a hand in my career again of course!) and I set to writing the screenplay I was going to direct when I got back to Ireland. It was a kidnap thriller called Blood . Dirt . Money even had the full-stops like that and everything!
A huge influence on the script, and me, was the film Memento by Christopher Nolan. It truly inspired me and informed me. It changed how I looked at films. I realised this was the kind of film I wanted to make. Something contained, taught, dark, something that kept the audience guessing and enthralled. That first draft of B.D.M probably lifted a lot from Memento, in fact, I know it did, as well as a lot of other films. Looking back it was something of a patchwork of borrowed scenes! But I managed to finish the screenplay before we left Sydney. Little didn't I know that when I typed 'The End' it meant more than just the end of the script.
I came back to Ireland early. The girlfriend stayed behind to spend some time with her sister, or so I thought. I had suspicions something else had been going on for a while. She would cry for no reason. Disappear to meet friends, who would then show up completely unaware of any such meeting, strange misplaced apologies. When she eventually did get back I popped around to see her and was sitting at the table flicking through a magazine when I came across her named, written across a L'Oreal advertisement, but with a different second name, and not mine!
I remember her telling me years ago that it was something all girls did, write their name with the second name of a potential husband to see if it looked good, sounded good (she always thought my second name sounded funny with hers!) I never forgot the name, and it was only years later when I heard the name of her now husband that it was all confirmed. We broke up that week.
But none of that matters now. She's married. I'm married. Everyone's grown up and happy. It's just relevant to the year that changed my life. 2001. My odyssey!
After that I decided I would focus on writing. I got in touch with Thomas Kennedy. Told him I wanted to make this script I had and if could advise me. He read it. Never mentioned it again. But asked if I wanted to write something else with him. From that first meeting came Emily's Song, our award winning short film. Ten years on the writing partnership continues, that although we've been interrupted by marriages and kids and careers and soon immigration, it is still going strong - I'm meeting him tomorrow in fact, we're still working on Iscariot!
So that was the year that changed my life. Had I not made that decision I would have the films I've made, the friends, the collaboration the measure of success I've had. Had the girlfriend not made her decision I would not be happily married to a wonderful, supportive, strong woman with whom I have the most beautiful daughter.
And ten years on I finally get to make my kidnap thriller. Except this time is called Derelict and hopefully the script is a bit better!
Sunday, August 07, 2011
Pistols at Dawn.
Sold Slán agus Beannacht to RTE. Great! Delighted. I'm glad this film will be broadcast and everyone's work will finally get seen by a large audience.
Derelict is moving forward nicely. Things are coming together. On target for September shoot. We'll be getting gear from Film Equipment Hire Ireland, my thanks Colin Browne there for the help! Awesome! I've been talking to renowned armorer John McKenna about supplying some weapons - pistols and knives. Hopefully going out to his store soon to have a look at what I can afford.
On that subject I'm meeting with actor Keith Ward this week to start designing the fights and stunts. So I'm looking forward to that. I'm planning on storyboarding the film, so will trying to get some boards done for the fights soon to work from.
Last week I met with actors Michael bates and Steve Gunn to go over the brother scenes and work on their relationship as brothers. It was a great afternoon. We got a lot from it and it gave us so much food for thought. It felt like we'd given the script life, and the more time we spent with it the more it grew and flourished. So I'm really looking forward to doing some lengthy rehearsals and
finally getting on set.
I think I said before it's one of my favourite parts of the experience, getting actors in a room and watching your words come to life and then the collaboration that comes after, the conversation, the search for the truth within the words. When it works it's truly exhilarating. I love it.
Coming up, casting. I have one part left to cast. Previously owned by Andy Gallagher, the part of Andrew the son has been rewritten as Louise, the daughter. So I'm on the look out for a young actress. So seeing some people this week. Hopefully Louise is among them.
So it's getting close. 7 weeks today we'll all be on set. I can't wait... actually, I can! There's still a hell of a lot to do and I'd rather have the time. Even though this has been two year in development and it's been delayed and delayed this year, I'm sure once it comes to it I'll be praying for more time! But that's the energy that gets us through.
Derelict is moving forward nicely. Things are coming together. On target for September shoot. We'll be getting gear from Film Equipment Hire Ireland, my thanks Colin Browne there for the help! Awesome! I've been talking to renowned armorer John McKenna about supplying some weapons - pistols and knives. Hopefully going out to his store soon to have a look at what I can afford.
 |
| Me doing camera test at location. |
Last week I met with actors Michael bates and Steve Gunn to go over the brother scenes and work on their relationship as brothers. It was a great afternoon. We got a lot from it and it gave us so much food for thought. It felt like we'd given the script life, and the more time we spent with it the more it grew and flourished. So I'm really looking forward to doing some lengthy rehearsals and
 |
| John Lawlor DOP |
I think I said before it's one of my favourite parts of the experience, getting actors in a room and watching your words come to life and then the collaboration that comes after, the conversation, the search for the truth within the words. When it works it's truly exhilarating. I love it.
Coming up, casting. I have one part left to cast. Previously owned by Andy Gallagher, the part of Andrew the son has been rewritten as Louise, the daughter. So I'm on the look out for a young actress. So seeing some people this week. Hopefully Louise is among them.
So it's getting close. 7 weeks today we'll all be on set. I can't wait... actually, I can! There's still a hell of a lot to do and I'd rather have the time. Even though this has been two year in development and it's been delayed and delayed this year, I'm sure once it comes to it I'll be praying for more time! But that's the energy that gets us through.
 |
| The location. |
Just wanted to throw this in. I watched a fantastic film this morning, one I've been meaning to watch for quite a while - Down Terrace. A low budget british crime film made by director Ben Wheatley and writer Rob Hill. It was absolutely brilliant. I loved it. A real, edgy, violent and very bloody funny crime thriller. It's very much in the same vein as Derelict - Shoot on one location, a small cast and crew, everyone working for free, a budget of a few grand, no backing, purely independent and shot over two weeks.
Down Terrace - Highly Recommended!
It gives me hope, makes me believe that great films really are achievable at this level. Also worries me! But Derelict has a great team fighting to make it work.
That's all for now. Hopefully back soon with some cast news!
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