Always nice to get to that point of a script. Of course it's usually just the beginning. It's somewhere in the middle for me. This the third draft. I'll do a reading soon with the actors and see how it reads, there will be changes, no doubt. I already feel like it needs a lot less dialogue, there's a lot in there that can be said without being said. I also want to explore certain relationships a bit further and a couple of the character get left out in the cold a bit in this draft, so I want to pull them back in.
The tone of this one has changed slightly. The moral compass is slightly more eschew... if there at all! It's longer and has my interplay between the characters and some of the relationships have changed. There's added conflict and drama. I've basically up the stakes for everyone. I think that's the key for making it work. Is pushing it as far as it will go.
It's been a difficult project so far, no doubt about that. It's really pushing and pulling at me. I'm running hot and cold on this one, which is a first I think. There's a lot of doubt, which probably comes from a lack of confidence in myself, my ability as a writer and director, my vision. I know it's there, but it's hard to see the wood from the trees sometimes.
At the moment I feel a little flabby, both on the belly and the brain! In need of collaboration, inspiration, the back and forth that comes with creative partnership. I've been missing it for a long time. It's been two years since my last narrative film shoot and about a year and half since 140 (though that was quite a solitary project too). So maybe that's where my self doubt and doubt about this film comes from - I'm out of practice!
What always bring me back around though is the idea of working with the actors on this. Getting to play! Everyone piling into a rehearsal space for a couple of weeks to find the rhythm of the piece and then piling into the location to shoot the thing. Organised chaos! And once again creating something. The doubts are the demons that try to pull you down. The light at the end of the tunnel is the vision, the spark that started it all in the first place. The challenge is to fight the demons to reach the light.
I'm sure I'll get there. And hopefully there wont be anymore delays. They have largely come due to people schedules, again my own doubts and of course money. But maybe I don't need that much money. Hopefully I'll raise a good bit on the 14th and maybe I can make whatever that amount is work. Maybe I should just set the date, book the venue and let people know, see if anyone shows up and then make it up on the day with whatever and whoever arrives. You're in or you're out, this is it or it's nothing at all (there are a couple of other personal factors that make that last statement more than me just blowing hard! This is the last chance.)