Sacred Plans

In response to the previous post about making a film in a day for no money, it is possible, and I've done it a lot. I'm doing it again soon, in fact, I have three of these films lined up - one in February, March and April.

I've also been thinking in terms of the Pandemic! In an effort to keep people safe, but I'm also looking at it as a creative challenge. It helps that this kind of filmmaking is designed to be shot in one day, on one location with just two actors, so I'm limiting risk there, but I'm going a little further too.

The first of these films is called "The Valley", starring Greame Coughlan and Oisin De Lange, and is effectively two separate monologues. I should mention this film has received funding from the Arts Fund with the Louth County Council, known as Create Louth. I'll talk more about that at the end. It could be done for nothing, but this way I can pick up some equipment and pay the actors, which is always nice.

More about the film. So, it's about a 34 year-old man reading a letter from his father, who committed suicide 23 years before, when he was 34. We travel through time to see it from both points of view, the Son reading the letter, the Father writing the letter. But they meet in the middle. As the letter is being read.

So they are completely separate, except for this part, which I decided to shoot outside, on a beach. At first we think the Son is just out for a walk, but it is revealed that this is where the Father took his own life, and reappears to read the letter to his son.

All I need for this is the set up previously pictured, and two actors. Nothing more. Now I know I could do this on a RED or an ARRI, light it, get a sound recordist, spend a week on it and make it look like something from the BBC or something. But that's unrealistic for most of us, and we have to stop thinking that way (for now) because right now we just want to get stuff made, get stuff out there, tell the stories inside us. This is the way to do that. See two posts previous, "Dream Big... or small". We do what we can with what we have. Maybe that's not much right now, but just because your poor doesn't mean you can't be honest.

Next will be "Life Had Other Plans", starring Andrea Coyne and Darren Behan, and tells the story of two strangers who strike up a conversation in a cafe, about life, approaching middle-age and forgotten dreams. Difference is, they do it back to back, they never look at each other. It's almost as if they're a voice in each other's head, or an angel on each other's shoulder. It's an intimate piece, and creates an intimate environment for the characters, because they never leave their own space. And an intimate environment for the actors so they're not spitting covid all over each other... you know what actors are like.

Again, iPhone, two actors, one location, one day. I wrote the script in an afternoon, it's about 7 pages long. It's a very simple idea. A sketch. I'm not out to set the world on fire, just tell an honest story that might connect with some people. Then it's on to the next one. Speaking of which...

That's called "Sacred Heart", starring Andrea Coyne and Bill Murphy, and tells the story of two divorcees who meet on a taxi ride and strike up a conversation about kids, partners, loneliness. This one isn't mine, Andrea Coyne wrote it and sent it to me. I loved it and saw it, it fell right in line with what i'm trying to do with these short films. Two actors, one location, one day. We shoot in April, to try and catch the cherry blossoms. 

I have three more of these scripts, Shadow, Oak and Smile. I wrote those two years ago, but didn't quite have my head on straight. But hopefully, if these three work out, we can find a rhythm and just keep going with them. For me it's about telling simple, honest stories, but it's also about making films that are stress free. When I'm stressed I don't want to make films, and when it starts to creep in, my energy and enthusiasm leaves me and I don't want to do it anymore. 

Now I know films are stressful things to do, but I don't care about that, these are my films and I'm going to do them my way, you wanna come at me with rules and stress, you can keep going pal! Do your thing, I'll do mine. There really is no need to over complicate these stories.

So yeah, keep is simple. Script. Phone. Mic. Two Actors. One Location. One Day. Done.

--

I mentioned funding. If you do need a little bit of funding, to pay for equipment or pay actors for the day, there are ways: 1. Crowdfunding. 2. Personal Loan. 3. Your Local Council. 

Look around locally for funding opportunities, does your local council have an arts fund? Are there competitions? What about banks? They like to get involved at a community level. What about local businesses or business people, do they support the arts? Write up a proposal for you film. Top sheet has the synopsis, your plan for it. Then the script itself. Bios and Headshots of your actors, your CV, a budget breakdown (This doesn't have to be detailed, you're not looking for thousands, €150 a day for each actor, €300 for gear €200 for festival fees) Outline your plan for the film after it's made, hit filmfreeway.com and find the festival you want to enter, maybe all the Irish festival around the world, there are a lot and they're always on the look out for new Irish shorts. You can try to sell it to RTE through Short Screen, or ask Network Ireland Television to consider it, they are a sales agent for shorts and can get more sales and get you into more festivals.

BUT DON'T LET THAT STOP YOU!!! MAKE YOUR FILM!!! 

Enjoy the process, have fun, because if you're not having fun, what's the point?! We're making movies for crying out loud, not going down a mine!!!

8 Steps to Your First Short Film

Making a low/no budget short film in 8 simple steps:

Step 1: Your phone is your camera. (The set up above cost my €300 - not include iPhone obviously. The monitor looking thing on the top is actually a power bank)

Step 2: Sound is important - buy or borrow an external mic.

Step 3: Light - us natural light, available light. You can get LED light cheaply and use a reflector. 

Step 4: Writing - keep your script short, 5 to 7 pages (less) and between two actors. Story should be simple, set in one location. A conversation. Something that means something to you. Take time to get it right, don’t rush to production, nows the time to make mistakes, they’re easy to change!

Step 5: Rehearsal - take the time to meet, talk to the actors, have conversations about the script, make sure everyone connects with it. Do a run through, don’t be afraid to rewrite it if needs be. This will help you hit the ground running on shoot day.

Step 6: Shooting - you can shoot anywhere, but think of production value, what’s the back drop. Maybe don’t shoot in your living room, or if you do, put some time into dressing it. Can you shoot with your town as a back drop? Or a mountain? You get my drift. That kind of value is priceless!

Step 7: Post - do have iMovie? That’ll work. There are other free editing apps out there, find what works for you. Do you have a musician friend who’ll lend music for credit? Maybe your can do it, record it straight to your phone and import it. It’s all about keeping it as simple and cost free as possible.

Step 8: Distribution - well, now that’s not an issue, you can publish it the second you finish it. Hit social, spread the word. But if you want to go a step further, get it out to festivals, go to filmfreeway.com, create an account, there you can set filters to find free entry festivals, or low entry fees, set your budget and get entering. If you want to sell it, rte short screen buys short films, email on website, or you can get a sales agent, the biggest in Ireland for short films is Film Network Ireland. 

Main things, don’t overthink it. Write something that means something to you. Keep it simple. Find local actors, in you community. Use your phone, two actors, one location, one day. And Have FUN!

Dream Big... or small.

Dreams are powerful things. You can’t mess around with them, yours or anyone else’s. You need to mind them. Be precious with them. Look after them, and above all, pay attention to them. If you don’t they can turn against you. Forgotten and abandoned dreams can come back to haunt you, they can prevent you from doing many other things, including being a nice person! God knows I can be grumpy at times, and it often comes down to frustration stemming from a lack of fulfilment. 

Tricky thing about dreams is that they change as we grow, they might change completely and become something entirely different. Or, they can change size and shape. If we don’t pay attention to that it can be as detrimental as if we’re ignoring them. It’s like trying to fit a square peg into a round hole, the peg being the old dream, and the round hole is our life as it is now.

I look at my dream of being a filmmaker, a writer and a director and how it hasn’t gone according to plan. It almost did. I was in the room with the producers, those who held the keys to the kingdom, I even booked the gig, but it fell through. Then I built my own room, became my own producer, and went after bigger fish. Only to have the line snap, and the big fish escape. 

I still hung onto that dream, the scale of it and the shape of it, for years, but my life now is unrecognisable to what it was then, as am I. I’m not that hungry young 25 year-old filmmaker who wants to conquer the world. I’m 43, I’m a Dad of three young kids, I’m married and the things I worry about most these days (apart from Covid) are paying the rent, putting food on the table and maybe someday, buying or building a house for my family... not film.

But it is still there. It hasn’t gone away, and I’d be lying if I said it wasn’t at the forefront of my thoughts on a daily basis. I still want to make films, I still think of stories I want to tell and I still see those stories as films. 

I think what’s been holding me back these last few years is that I’m still seeing my dream as the old dream, which is far too large to scale and conquer in my life as it is now. I don’t have the time, the energy, nor the financial means anymore. And that was holding me up. I was saying no to a lot of things, or half-assing things I had said yes to, because they weren’t part of the dream, the BIG dream! But maybe they were, maybe I am actually living the dream!

If I think about it differently, if I reframe it, if I scale it down and resize it to fit my life as it is now, I can make it work. I have to look at what I have to hand and ask what I can do with that. I can’t can’t make a feature film right now, but I can make short films. I can’t make the kinds of shorts I’ve made in the past, that require thousands of euros, a full crew and a dozen actors to shoot over a week or two! But I can find a couple of actors to shot something on my phone over a day for a couple of hundred euros.

Maybe it’s no great shakes, but it’s honest to goodness storytelling, in it’s simplest, purest form. It’s stripping it of all the bells and whistles and just focusing on the story. Creating small, intimate short films that tell a simple story. Nothing wrong with that. 

I’m also looking at helping people to tell their stories more. Not just focusing on myself all the time, that can be exhausting. I’m working with a writer at the moment to help her tell her story. I’m lending my experience so she can find a structure to her own story. 

Most of the time it’s just getting out of the way and letting them do their thing. But what I find works best is just being there to encourage, to coach, to say it’s working and to keep going. It’s often the only thing people need. 

Sometimes you don’t know there’s a door until someone shows you. Too often I’ve met people in this field who want to hide the doors, or stand in front of them and charge you an admission fee. How can you stand in front of the door to something else’s dream and tell them they can’t enter?!

Sometimes all you have to do is say yes, say it’s good enough, and say you’ll help them. More often than not a simple word from you can make all the difference to them. 

There are a lot of us out there. We’re dreamers, but maybe we’re older now, jaded, tired. We have a couple of kids in tow, a job, bills, commitments, but we’re still dreamers, we’re still storytellers at heart, and by not being able to tell those stories of dream that dream, it causes the heart to break a little, that light inside to dull a little. But we don’t have to give up on the dream. We just have to think of it in a different way, resize it to fit the shape of our lives as they are now.

What I want to do is shoot short films, no more than 5 minutes, two actors on one location to be shot in a day on my iPhone. That’s it. Small, intimate, simple scripts that perhaps surprise and delight their audiences. 

And I’d like to help others do the same. Even even it just means reading a script and saying “Yes, it can be done, here’s how” it might be enough for some people. Sometimes all we need is that little bit of validation, that Yes, the permission. 

But here’s the thing, the only permission you need is your own. Say yes to yourself, get out of your own way and go shoot a film. Don’t let your dream die, make it fit your life now. Tell your stories.

Writing Again

I just entered the Imagine/Impact script comp. Ron Howard has teamed up with Netflix to find a feature script from an unknown writer to be produced! (https://application.imagine-impact.com/questionnaires) How cool would that be!

I dusted off an old script called "The Race", co-written with my old writing partner, Thomas Kennedy. I've written about it here many times. It's about Mike McGregor, an aging cycling champion, who, having promised his wife he'd never compete again after a near fatal crash, secretly trains his two sons to ride Ireland's toughest race - The Ras.

We wrote the script 13 years ago, so it was really fun rediscovering it and writing about it again. It was a well loved script by people who read it. We went down the road a bit with Screen Ireland at the time, but they determined we were too inexperienced (we wanted to direct!) I think they were probably right.

We got into the top 20% of the Nichol Fellowship that year (for those who don't know, that's part to the Academy Awards, it's kind of like an Oscar for unproduced screenplays by unknown writers!)

Going back over it got the cogs wiring again. Something I haven't really felt in a while, even with stuff I've been trying to get off the ground and that am actively working on at the moment. But that sense of excitement hasn't been there, not for a long time. It's mostly a chore these days, and it should never be a chore. A challenge, sure, but not a chore.

I guess this reminded me of how much fun I used to have writing, and dreaming! I mean, I was still in my 20s when I wrote this script. It was all ahead of me, I was winning awards with my first short film, of course I was going to make it. Now I'm in my 40s and that didn't happen. So, it's different now. I step more tentatively, if I step at all.

But it helped me remember that feeling... Jesus, as I write this I've just realized, I'm become the main character of that script. An ex-champ who crashed out of a race and lost his career, only to find his passion again 20 years later, I'm even blogging again... do people still blog?! I think they just "Thread", showing my age for sure! Like Mike, I'm riding a steel frame, not carbon fibre!

After I finished the application I popped out to a cafe and even came up with an idea while sitting there, then came straight home and wrote an 8 page short script. I haven't done that in years.

Recently I was asked for some advice on a short script, happily gave it. I was also invited to help someone on a TV show idea, really as a guide. But even sitting down with them and talking about what the story could be, how to structure it etc. It reignited something in me, reminded of that back and forth I miss when creating something new, collaborating and remembering how much a part of writing and filmmaking collaboration is, needs to be! Not to mention the hope of a new project, seeing the possibilities of everything it could become.

It's been an unexpected and interesting few days for this tired old hasbeen of a neverwas writer! We'll see what comes I guess. I don't pin my hopes on hope anymore! To quote old Red: "Hope is a dangerous thing, Hope can drive a man insane," but then, as his friend Andy said "Get busy living, or get busy dying" - you either let a dream die, or you do the work, and make it live. And I think for any dream to survive it's as simple as that, you do the work. 

So, to work...

My friend, Doubt

He’s not goin away, so, I’ve decided to make friends with Doubt. I think he needs a friend. He needs someone to listen, not to his complaints, and moans, and... doubt, but to what’s really going on, to what’s behind all that. And let him know, the fear he feels, is perfectly normal, natural and can be overcome.

Doubt is that friend who is always moaning, always has a problem, who doesn’t want to go anywhere or do anything because it’s too much hassle. He’s that work colleague who sees the challenge, not as an opportunity, but as a reason not to try, or grow, or be a constructive member of the team. When you come up against people like that you want to get away from them as soon as possible. But when you’re stuck with them, it can be frustrating, even toxic over a long period. They can even make you like them, you begin to doubt, to complain, to stop being a constructive member of the team. 

I’ve been infected with this way of thinking and behaving for a while now. Doubt got the upper hand for a while. However, two days ago I went for a walk with Doubt, as I often do, to take photos in the fog. He doesn’t mind doing that, that’s easy. But then I came up with an idea for a short film, something so simple, that had I had two actors with me I could have done it there and then. So I mentioned it to Doubt, and he said “No, no no no, you can’t do that, that’s going to get too complicated.” But I knew he was wrong, and for the first time in a long time I turned to Doubt and said “Doubt, Shut up!”

And you know what? He did. Then something else happened, something completely unexpected and interesting, I began to remember all these other ideas I’ve had over the last year, simple things, doable things, shoot in an iPhone in a day things. And I glared at Doubt for making me think I couldn’t do them, and he coward. But then I felt bad for him, because really, it wasn’t his fault. I was the one who listened, who decided, it was my inaction that stopped me. That’s his job I guess, and maybe he’s just trying to protect me from failing, because I’ve failed so much in my career as a filmmaker, and he knows what it does to me. But I’m not going to get anywhere if I don’t keep trying, keep failing, trying again, and maybe one day - succeeding.

Doubt’s not going anywhere, I’ve realized that, but I’ve also realized that Doubt’s not me, it’s just part of my and it’s not a part I going to let dictate what I do, or don’t do, anymore. Doubt can have a say, and I’ll listen, because I know he’s there to make sure I’m safe, but he doesn’t get the deciding vote anymore, that’s for me. And when it comes to expressing myself, and making a film I feel impassioned to make, I’m going to say “Yes” from now on.

Ain't that right, Doubt?

...

He’s not sure! 😆 

The Prickle-ly Perch

       Being a filmmaker, a writer and director (such as I am) is a lonely and isolated existence. You spend most of your time on your own, writing, imagining, trying figure things out, the script, the schedule. As directors and writers we exist on separate islands, we can see each other, sometimes, more so now with social media, but the sea in between us is foggy. So while we can wave across at each other from time to time, we can’t see what’s going on over there in detail. You have a lot of self-doubt. One day you will see a lot of people dock at someone’s island, there seems to be a party going on, you’re not invited and no ones coming to your island, unless it’s for a short film and they seem more like lost tourists looking for directions, who politely stay because they see your desperation and feel bad for you… or they flee.

Sometimes one of your fellow islanders gets to escape, they get to the mainland! Then you’re completely screwed. Then come all the questions, “What am I doing wrong?” Why can’t I get funded?” “Should I really be doing this?” “Is the island life for me?”

Those kinds of questions don’t bare fruit. You have to get passed them as quickly as possible and realize everyone’s journey is completely different, it’s not even comparable. We diverge so much, we can’t possibly arrive at the same place at the same time, and I’m sorry to say so but, sadly, it’s true that Bang-ups and Hang-ups can happen to you. You can get all hung up in a prickle-ly perch. And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in the lurch. 

Dr. Seuss was right, it happens, and can stay happening for a long time. For me, it’s been about 6 years. And that last part is the hardest (And your gang will fly on. You’ll be left in the lurch.) because you know you’re the same person, you know you’re working on stuff, you know you’ve been trying to get stuff made all that time. But people get tired of hearing it, they get tired of waiting around, so they move on with their own lives, as they should. And the emails stop coming, the requests for advice stop, as if you forgot what you know, or mainly because you can’t seem to get anything done, so what use are you, and what could you possible have to offer, you’re not hot right now! The opportunities cease. You’re cold, and no one else wants to catch it. You’re in movie jail, or movie hospital, you’ve got the sickness we all dread, DOUBT. And it’s catching.

Doubt has killed more projects than anything else. It’s a disease of the mind, and it’s crippling. What’s the antidote? Simple - Work. Just work. Do something, anything. Action. Motion. These are key. It doesn’t have to be film related, but you have to get moving, you have to get out of the Waiting Place. We are predictable and fickle creatures we humans, particularly we artiste kind. We want validation, and permission. We want someone to say “Yes, this is good, now go make it.” That doesn’t always come, so lack of validation, no permission and growing self-doubt will end any career before it’s even taken a step toward a set.

Get out for a walk, get in the fresh air, a park, a beach, a hill, a forest… no, not Starbucks! Nature. We’re human. We’re part of this earth. We need air and trees and wind. It’ll wake you up. Then do something, anything, if you’re unemployed, get a job, something part-time, something to get you out of your own head and away from the heavy lump of clay that is your imagination. But keep the cogs oiled, keep writing. Keep imagining. Tackle the lump of clay one scoop at a time. There’s no rush. Stop rushing. Take it slow. Maybe take a small ball of clay, sculpt something that takes less time, less energy.

My problem is that I think too big, too complicated. I have a simple idea, but before I know it’s grown tentacles, that reach out and grab things, pull them in, then it’s too heavy to carry, too complicated to figure out. But I’ve had a lesson in scale recently. I made a short film with a group called Ablevision Ireland, who help young people with learning disabilities gain access to and experience in media; documentaries, news, and film. So I came along to help them develop this short, Little Fairy Tree. We didn’t have much money, we didn’t have much time, we had a relatively inexperienced cast and crew, and we shot on an iPhone. It was a real eye-opener.

First of all, it reminded me of how I made films as a kid, when it was just for fun, before all the rules and techniques and jargon got in the way. Then it was an exercise in time, and how to use it. We didn’t have any, I didn’t have any. Right now I’m a stay-at-home dad with 3 young kids, ages 9, 6 and 19months, my wife works full time and is out of the house 12 hours a day, so, time is not something I have, and with the energy it takes to manage them, I have ZERO left to be creative. But, here was a challenge I said yes to, and I wasn’t going to let them down.

We shot 2 hours on Tuesdays for a couple of week, an hour one Wednesday, a Friday morning here and there, we broke for Christmas and bad weather, and then had two solid Saturdays in a row to get it finished. All this over a 6 month period, and we made a film. Now, before this, I would have look at this script and said it was impossible. We needed a solid week blocked off, and I just can’t do that anymore. But, we didn’t need that, and by using the iPhone, and keeping crew to a minimum, less than minimum! We got it done.

So, here’s my advice, if you’re in the same boat, if you’re old has-been, if no-ones returning you calls, your emails, if your old film buddies have left you hanging on that pricke-ly perch. Draw a line under that part of you life. It’s over. You’re at the starting line again. Those people don’t matter. That way of doing things is gone. THIS, is Day One. But, it’s a better day one, because you have a ton of experience everyone but you has forgotten about. You’re going to crush it, and you’re going to surprise people again. But you’re going to do it quietly.

Start small. Don’t tell anyone about it, fuck social media, in fact, delete you facebook page, it’s sucking your life-force (yes, I’m aware I’ve link to this on facebook, but we know I’m right!) Come up with an idea you can shoot in one day, with two actors and shoot on your iPhone. So it has to be small. But it also has to be clever. You have to surprise and delight your audience. There’s something in this small, no budget, iPhone movie that elevates it. Three things to think about. The three Es. Entertain. Educate. Elevate. If you can entertain, you’re sorted, job done. It’ll go places. If you can educate as well, that gets people thinking, in nourishes the mind. Then, if you can elevate it, elevate your audience, make them feel something unexpected, surprise and delight them - that’s going to get them talking.

I can’t tell you how to do that, you have to do the work. But I bet you have an idea that could work. I bet you could rewrite it and add to it, and cook it down and down and down to a thick rich sauce that tastes amazing. That’s what you have to do. Let it simmer, be patient with it, take you time, taste it, add to it, taste it again. We’re old now, we can’t be rushing around anymore, our knees don’t work. Then, get you actors, find your one location, charge your iPhone, shoot it. Hit up filmfreeway, find some free festival, send it out. Be patient, it can takes months to get a bite. But it will, and you will succeed. Yes! You will, indeed! (98 and 3/4 per cent guaranteed.) KID, YOU’LL MOVE MOUNTAINS!… 

Your mountain is waiting. So… get on your way!

Lost in a tweet...

Just so it doesn't get lost in a tweet, here's a thread I posted recently. Some honesty and advice if needed. Based on experience, and the consequences of experience. Unpreparedness, and what happens, what to do, and of course, what not to do:

My now 8 year-old feature film Derelict https://youtu.be/qVzsfIVMKI4  Also in Black & White si tu préfères https://vimeo.com/156392162  This was a tough shoot, 7 days (and nights), €9k, everyone worked for free, money went on insurance, location fees, expenses, accommodation, food...

Oh, and a week rehearsal beforehand. It took a year to mount the production, with finding a window everyone involved could donate a week, and about 6/8 months to finish it, again, with donated time from editor and production house

Unfortunately it never did any business. Died on the vine, so to speak, an expensive and time consuming lesson in preparation. And while I did prepare, I could have probably spent more time on the script. It's like they say, as director you take most of the credit, if it fails...

You take ALL the blame! I took all the blame, and haven't made a film since. There are many other reasons for that, but I think any chances that were coming my way took a swift left turn after this came out.

In saying that, everyone involved did stellar work, and all the actors worked like Trojans! And delivered great performances. I'm proud of a lot of it, but any failings are mine. And I don't mean to sound like I'm moaning, or looking for sympathy!

If you're reading this, think of it as more of a warning, a statement of "What Not To Do", from someone who's made the mistake, and suffered the consequences (for many years after). So, here we go:

1: Don't rush. Don't be too eager to get it done, sure, grab the bull by the horns, it's all about momentum, but make sure the script is ready. If you're not sure, then it probably isn't, get help. Get it SOLID. Then go.

2: Schedule the SHIT out of your shoot. Be realistic. Give yourself time. If you have no time, jettison scenes, locations, you don't need. Make it lean. Cut it to the bone, before you start burning daylight.

3: Shot list. If you can storyboard that'll help, if that's not your bag, do a shot list, you won't have time to be messing around. Have a shopping list, know what you need. Grab it. If inspiration hits, grab that too, but know what you need. You need a detailed roadmap.

4: See if you can do a test shoot, shoot one scene for a day. This will tell you a lot. It'll tell you how long it's really going to take. Plan your shoot accordingly. It'll also help get you in the rhythm.

5: During the shoot, no short cuts, be brave, be demanding (even if people have agreed to work for free, they signed up, expect their all, give your all), COMMUNICATE, trust your instincts, don't second guess yourself and ignore those second guessing you, be adaptable, have fun!

Don't forget it's a film, not war! You're not being shot at. You're literally living your dream, even when you're in thick of it, when you're regret ever having decided to do this, second guessing each decision you're making, it's just a movie, enjoy yourself!

Be prepared for it to be hard, if you haven't done it before, it will surprise you and challenge you and demand everything of you at every turn! Both mentally and physically. Hit the gym before you shoot! Especially if you're out of shape! You're going to be on your feet ALL DAY!

Get ready for it, getting physically ready will help prepare you mentally. If you're on a low to no budget film, you're going to be doing multiple jobs, you're going to be lugging equipment, you need stamina.

You need to lead the charge. You're the boss. You're the general. You're Jesus! People are looking to you for everything. Embrace it. Own it. Put yourself in the centre of the room and take charge. If you want your shoot to run smooth, be smooth!

You may be doubting yourself. But hide that shit, save it for another day, you've work hard to get to this point, put your weeny hat in the closet and put on your @russellcrowe Master and Commander captain hat on! Be the fucking captain of your ship.

If you need to cry, or shout, or have a moment, find a dark corner two miles away. Your cast and crew don't need that shit. Save your suffering for after the shoot, and be prepared to suffer. It'll hit you hard, emotionally and physically.

I was unprepared for the release of finishing, I felt good at first, but they you have the mountain of post to climb, which is so daunting you might feel like you can't. But climb it you must. And it's a fucker when you have a cold, a bad back and fucked up feet!

I came off this film sick, there was a set cold that went around everyone. We all got sick at the end of it. I put my back out and destroyed my feet. I don't know what happened to them, but my skin reacted to something, and they were a horrible frankenstein mess for ages after...

in fact, 8 years later, they never went back to how they were before. It's weird. I don't know what to tell you, look after you feet and back, be physically prepared. When it's over, take a week or two off, and then get back in.

Post may take a while, maybe longer than you hoped. Endure. Engage. remember your vision and try to stay positive and excited. But, work on other stuff too. Start to think about what's next, think about what you learn and how to apply it to the next film.

Research festivals, hit up http://filmfreeway.com  contact programmers, send rough cuts, set up all the social media stuff and communicate with your audience. If you've crowdfunded this you all ready have a community. Tap into that. Keep them updated and in the loop.

Don't drop off, they will be the advocates of your film, because they were in it from the start, they own a piece of it. Remind them and tap into their social networks.

This film maybe 3, 4, 5 years of your life. Own it. Enjoy it. Give it everything at every stage, because this will be your true film school. You will learn so much! I can only tell you so much, what potholes to avoid, but you will only learn to drive by taking the wheel yourself.

In need of a little Christmas Miracle... namely funding!

We enter 2019 still in the trail of “10 Days in December”, a script we’ve been trying to get made for 4 years or more. We original thought of making it as a short, “One Day in December”. We even ran a month long crowdfunding campaign, which failed! But I think we asked too much for what it was. It also occurred to me, if we were going to put this much trouble into a short, and it’s a lot of trouble to do a short properly, let’s just do the feature! So, we set out on getting 10 Days made. 

The actual 171 page first draft of 10 Days in December

It took a while to write the script, we were both working full time, in busy demanding jobs, me at Apple, Maryann at Stanford. Not to mention the fact we had two small kids and no real support network, no family who could drop in frequently, take the kids for an hour here and there. So we would write at night, after the kids went to bed, between the hours of 9:30pm and 12:30am. Over the course of a year we got a feature script written.

Of course, that was just the first draft. So we started rewriting. I wasn’t really happy with where it was, or indeed, my own ability. I was starting to doubt myself. So I took some time out to reeducate myself. Blow off some cobwebs and unlearn some bad habits. 

The Rewrite

I did the Aaron Sorkin MasterClass, which was ok, I picked up a few hints and tips. Also the Ron Howard MasterClass, same thing. Where I found the most insight was from a book by Linda Seger called How to make a Good Script Great. It is by far the best screenwriting book I’ve ever read, and I’ve read quite a few over the years. It breaks down the process in the most constructive, practical and simplest way. It’s to the point, clear and concise. If you’re starting out as a screenwriter, or you want to get into filmmaking, start there. You wont regret it.

So I went back in. By now, about two years had gone by and we started contemplating shooting this thing. We were already going back to Ireland for Christmas, so we started playing with the idea of shooting it then, Christmas 2016. But it was too close, there wasn’t any money, so we settled on a proof of concept. We raised a couple of grand, gathered the cast and crew, booked the gear and we were set.

DOP Ivan McCullough and me talking shots

We came home for a family holiday with one days shoot planned, three days before Christmas. I thought it might be stressful, it wasn’t, it was wonderful! Everything I hoped it would be. Fun, creative, invigorating, we just wanted to keep shooting! Alas, we couldn’t, we had to go home. (You can see the result here.)

We went back to work and life, I kept working on the script and editing the proof, which took a while, and then, our third child came along! So, as you can imagine, life got a whole lot busier and whatever spare time we had to write, was gone.

But the passion for the project burned. We decided, if we really wanted to do this we needed to be on the ground, in Ireland, so, along with many other reasons, we decided to move back. We bought our tickets and we were on our way.

While we prepared I put together an application for development funding with the Irish Film Board. We applied, and waited and waited and waited... for some reason it took the 8 months to consider the application. They rejected it in the end. We were also sending to producers and production companies in Ireland, only to face more rejections or, in classic Irish style, no reply at all.

What kept us going through all this was the fact that it was landing with a few people. And the people who liked it, loved it. They understood what we were trying to do. They got the jokes, the homour, the atmosphere we were trying to create. Even when we entered (and got rejected by) the Nicholl Fellowship, the readers notes were 50/50. One reader loved it, understood it, got everything we were trying to do and gave it a “Yes”. The other guy just got hung up and why the characters weren’t sleeping together straight away, and that made it a “No” for him/her. 

So, baby number three came along, 6 months later we would immigrate back to Ireland. No work got done during that time. But we weren’t resting on our laurels. We organized a half-cast reading (full cast weren’t available on the night). It was great. Great to see some people again, others for the first time, and hear the script out loud. Made it closer to being real.

Cast Table Read - Earlier This Year

By the way, these actors have been amazingly patient through this process. I think if someone promised me a job and four years went by, I’d have walked long ago. But I guess it’s the nature of this business, projects come and go, some happen quickly, others take their time, need their time. I’m grateful for the understanding of fellow artists and collaborators.

So, here we are, entering 2019 and we’ve already been on quite a journey with this film, before anything has rolled on it, or come close to rolling. 4 years in we still feel like we’re at the start of this, still figuring it out, still learning. I hope it’s the Universes way of telling us it, we, just aren’t ready yet. Saying “Don’t rush it. When is time, when is ready, when you’re ready, everything will fall into place.”

It’s going to be a strange feeling when that happens. Finally. Really. Standing on set, calling “Action” for the first time. It will be a surreal moment. But a moment we’re continually striving toward. And no film I’ve done will feel more earned than this one.

Next steps? Keep working on the script. Get it right. Then, somehow, find the money. 

So, here we go, again, wish us luck, me, my co-writer and wife, my cast and crew. We’re going to need every ounce of goodwill and good vibes to get this thing made. It’s a miracle anytime a film gets made. And us starting to feel like that’s exactly what we need, a miracle! But then, it is Christmas, this is a Christmas movie, and if ever there was a time for Miracles, it’s now.

Keep paddling... that's Life

“The Book of Life” was on TV this morning, so sat and watched it with the kids, it’s a beautiful piece of work from Guillermo Del Toro as producer and Jorge R. Gutierrez as director. 

It is exquisite, glorious to look at and endlessly fun and entertaining, with real emotion running through it. It’s an action/adventure with a character in search for meaning and acceptance at its center. I remember when Coco came out, I think the two were in production around the same time, and Coco, coming from the behemoths that are Pixar and Disney, stole much of its thunder. 

This happens a lot, I don’t know what it is, genuine coincidence, parallel thinking, theft?! Gasp! In Hollywood, surely not! But it happens. I can attest to that, it’s happened to me a few times. I remember my old writing partner and I spent months developing a script about three friends, who lose a friend, and are employed to go to India in search of a woman. Then Wes Anderson announced “The Darjeeling Limited”. 

It ended up being nothing like the story we wanted to tell, but the foundations of the story were so similar it made it pointless pursuing it. All that to say, while “The Book of Life" and “Coco” are stories about a guitar playing hero, facing pressure from family to be something they are not, forced to enter the afterlife in search of truth and meaning... they are entirely different, unique, wonderful and worthy. If you haven’t seen “The Book of Life”, check it out, you’re bound to love it.

Filmmakers Side note: This is a tough area, you spend so long working on something only to have the wind taken from your sail by a larger ship. That may have set sail much later than you, but has the power to out run you. It’s disheartening. But you just have to paddle for a while, until the next gust comes along to carry you to different, often distant shores. 

Many of us set out on the same path, some just have bigger, faster, better funded ships. It’s the tough thing about being an indie filmmaker. You wish you could make people see your vision, make them understand it will be entirely unique and different to Director Goliath’s film. But most companies aren’t willing to take that risk. 

I once had a refusal based on a script I co-wrote called “The Race”. A cycling movie about an old champ coming out of retirement to race in the rás, Ireland’s largest bike race. They rejected it based on the fact there had been another cycling movie the year before, “The Flying Scotsman”, about and Olympic track racer... it’s like saying, “we’re not going to make “Saving Private Ryan” because “The Thin Red Line” came out last year”… they’re both set in WW2 and entirely different stories. 

Refusing to see the story as unique because it also has a bike in it is entirely narrow-minded and short sighted, but you’ll come up against this a lot. You just keep paddling, and wishing for a bigger boat. And maybe if you catch the right wave and land on the right shore you’ll get the bigger boat and next time you’ll get there first. The trick is, just keep paddling, because that’s life.

I Should Be Writing.

I should be writing. But I'm on facebook. I should be reading. But I’m on twitter. I should be drawing. But I'm on instagram. I should be creating. But I’m distracted. Endlessly distracted. 

I can’t blame these platforms. Sure, they’re a bright shinny shopfront, but I could pass by. Except I’m the type that has to go in. I’m the type that has to buy the thing. Even though I can’t really afford it and should be spending my money on rent, bills, food. My time on writing, reading, creating.

I’ve decided to trying something different this year. I’m not deleting my accounts, they’re still up there. But for a while I’m going to step away from them and really try to focus on my creative endeavors. I have plenty to do. So, instead of scrolling for 20 minutes on twitter and facebook, maybe clicking on two or three interesting articles in that time, I’m going to start disciplining myself to do something creative. To work on my script for “10 Days in December”, which needs work. To work on my novel, “The Cats of the Crescent”, which I’ve had for nearly 10 years. To work on some smaller, new ideas I have. To work on the stuff I’m actually getting paid to do!

I also want to get back to film, and rediscover my passion for it, because, to be entirely honest, I’ve lost it. I sat down to do my top ten list of movies of the year, and I suddenly realised, I didn’t have a top ten! I don’t think I’ve seen that many movies this year. I used to see movies all the time. Several a week. Some times a couple a day. I can’t do that anymore, I have three kids! If I see more than one movie a day I’m usually watch Despicably Me 2 17 times.

I want to get back to study. I used to read about film all the time. Books, books on film, on directors, on camera, on technique, on lighting. Articles in journals. I’d buy all the film mags, Sight and Sound, Moviemaker, Filmmaker, Film Ireland, Digital Filmmaker, American Cinematographer, Empire and even Total Film! Just to get a fix, just to be up to date on everything that was going on and coming out. I don’t do that anymore. 

I don’t watch a lot of film, I don’t read about films and I don’t enthuse and gush about films like I used to. I follow a lot of successful filmmakers online, indie and mainstream, highly successful, working, newbies and oldies, and they all have one thing in common, they love film, the gush film, they talk 95% about film and their love for it (the other 5% is usually facepalming something Trump has just done.)

I used to be like that. I didn’t have twitter back in the day, but I’d do it to whoever was willing to listen. And there was usually someone nearby who shared my passion, or at least, like film enough to listen to me waffle on. I want to get some of that back. Or rediscover film, in a new way. With a different understanding. Fall in love again, and this stage in my life. Before I make another film.

And I do want to make another film. I’m not doing it because I have to, or because I’ve found myself on this path and don’t know how to get off. I’m doing it because I love storytelling and I love film. I love what it does and how it does it. I love that it can surprise, delight and change people, at least, change their way of thinking in a moment, that may lead to real change, inside a person and in a community. It shines a light in the dark. In the dark of a room, and of a soul.

My plan, or, hope I should say, is to be distracted less. To study and watch more. To see more films. To read more books. To clear my watch-list, and the 200+ DVDs, among the 1000+ I own, that I haven’t watched yet! I hope to be blogging more here too. I’ve kind of let this go over the years. Life. But I’m hoping to compile my thoughts, edit them, and present them in long form here, rather than in passing bursts of hot takes. And I’ll post updates on projects. It’ll be more like a journal. So, back to it I guess, I hope.